MOTHERHOOD

As I've told just about everyone whose asked how we're doing since our precious Lucas arrived, I will say it again - no one could have prepared me for what has been our life for the last six weeks. Motherhood is by far the most difficult and challenging job I have ever done or will ever do. Yes, it is a job.  It is my job to keep our baby safe, happy, fed, secure, comforted etc. I think back to my own mom, moms I see in my everyday life, moms that I'm friends with.. some make it look so easy, others make it look so stressful and exhausting, and still others make it look fun. But it's just one of those things that you will never truly know until you become one yourself.  Listen to me, I have only been a mom for six weeks and feel I have seen it all!  LOL!  Yes, I know that is soooo far from being true.  But what I do know is that the first few weeks home with my son were probably some of the most challenging and emotional weeks I have ever experienced. They were wonderful don't get me wrong, just soo not easy.

For me, the most difficult part of motherhood that I've experienced so far is feeding our son. Should be easy, right? I had decided while I was pregnant that I really wanted to breastfeed since it is the perfect food for our little guy and offers so many health benefits, especially in the early months. What I didn't know, is how difficult it would be!  Not that it would have changed my decision to do so but it may have been nice to know what I would be up against. Luckily, when Lucas was born he latched on instantly, like a true pro, and needed no assistance from me or the nurses. I was very happy to see him so comfortable and seeming to know exactly what he was doing.  I was naive to think the hard part was over. For the first 5 or 6 days Lucas nursed for what felt like every second of every day (really like every 1 to 2 hours) and there was one 24 hour period that I swear he just never stopped. What does that mean for me?  Nips that felt like they were put through a food processor, absolutley NO sleep and just complete exhaustion. There were several occasions in that first week that the both of us would just cry together.. LOL. One of the things you give up as a nursing mom (or a mom who takes care of all the feedings) is sleep. That is the icing on the cake to make an already challenging situation even more difficult.  I haven't had a full night sleep in 6 weeks and at this point would probably consider selling a kidney for the exchange of a solid 8 hours of uninterrupted magical sleep.

I will say that the newborn phase DOES get easier though. At first you are just getting to know this little person that you've created and are learning the meaning of all his little cries and mannerisms. Once you speak his langauge (for me it took about 2 weeks) things seem to go a lot smoother as it is much easier to make a sad baby happy if you know what he wants. Assuming it is something in your control.  Sometimes there is not much you can do - and that is absolutely heart breaking.

Not only does being a mom make me appreciate my own mom a hundred times over, it shines a whole new light on all moms everywhere.. the teen mom, the single mom, the newlywed mom, the mom of multiples... YOU ARE ALL AMAZING!! 

Although everyday brings it's challenges and is sure to be filled with exhaustion and a bit of frustration, you will have moments that are just so amazing that you will instantly forget that your baby just spent the last hour crying for no apparent reason. This morning I woke up from my cat nap (I don't feel like I can use the word "sleep") to the sound of my crying baby who was clearly hungry.  It was 7:30am and this was Lucas' third feeding of the morning. I popped out of bed like I've learned to intantly do and scooped him up out of his crib and walked him into the living room.  His crying quieted as I'm sure he knew what was ahead. I laid him on my lap as I got his gas drops ready and as I was about to give him his medicine he looked straight into my eyes and smiled. It was AMAZING. I didn't care what the day was going to bring, it was already perfect. :)

On January 26th, 2011 our lives were forever changed... in the most amazing way. I am so very blessed with the life of our son and am even more blessed to have such an amazing partner to go through this journey with. Doug has proven not only to be the best husband ever but also an amazing father. The way he looks at our son and interacts with him melts my heart. 

So, moral of the story.... motherhood is NO JOKE!  And I LOVE LOVE LOVE my boys!

HAPPY HOPS AND HAMMER DANCE!!

When Lucas is upset this is a surefire cure. :) AND it is endless entertainment for mom and dad.

NEWBORN PICS BY COUSIN BECKY!

Here are a few professional newborn pictures that were taken by our Cousin Becky!  She did such a great job. :)

1 MONTH DOC APPOINTMENT

My tall skinny baby is now oh so big and fat!!!! :) We had Lucas' 1 month well baby appointment this past Monday and learned that he is now 11 lb 8 oz (75th - 90th percentile) and 22 1/2 inches long (75th percentile).  Now keep in mind he was born 7 lb 7 oz (25th percentile) and 21 inches (75th - 90th percentile).. so that means he's gained like a pound a week since birth! I had a LOT of questions for the doc this time since I didn't have much to go off of at his first appointment.  As suspected, the doctor said Lucas definitely has reflux.  He is not too worried though (since he's clearly getting enough to eat and thriving) BUT it will be something that we will need to keep our eye on to see if it progresses into something worse.  We are hoping that it will gradually get better though. And for those not familiar with reflux it really just means a lot of spit up and often discomfort. :(  So it also means lots of wardrobe changes for baby and mom and can't leave home without a bib and burp cloth. The doctor also thinks the Lucas could be teething!!!  I can't even believe that... he has started drooling lately and has had some odd irratable fits occasionally while nursing. Doc recommended that the next time he freaks out to try rubbing some orajel on his gums.. well last night while nursing he had an episode so I tried it and several minutes later he was nursing with ease... hmmm.. I don't know - it could very well be a coincidence.  I can't imagine that he's really teething at just 1 month!!

Everyone we come in contact with always comments on how alert and awake he is. Yep, he's been this way from day one!  He is the most "awake" baby that I've ever seen!  He naps occasionally during the day and has had a few solid nights sleep here and there (5 or 6 hours) but other than that he is always wide awake and ready to go!  And I swear he has started smiling at me lately. :)  He has always smiled and laughed while he falls asleep but these smiles have been when he was wide awake and looking right at me! So precious it just makes me melt. Something not so cute - baby acne! :(  my poor baby is covered in little pimplies!! It takes everything in me to not try and pop them! hahaha!

ABOUT LUCAS

Lucas Jae was born on January 26th, a date that had signified great sadness for me in the past as it was just two years ago that I lost my dad on this very same date. I know that it is no coincidence that my son came into this world when he did and although I struggled with it at first, I thank my dad for bringing so much joy to this day. It will forever hold the most special place in my heart as a celebration of the life of my dad and the birth of my son.

Lucas was born 7 lbs 7 oz and 21 inches long. His height was in the 75th - 90th percentile and weight was in the 25th percentile. Surprise surprise - he was born tall and skinny. :) He has been extremely alert from day one and loves to look at you with his big wide eyes. :) He is generally a pretty happy baby but also has his angry moments as all babies do (we are getting better and better at minimizing the angry moments as the days go on as there is always a reason for the anger - it's just a matter of mom and dad figuring it out - but we are learning - thank God!). He LOVES to eat - more than anything in the world. He actually smiles sometimes while he's eating. He is also a SUPER noisy eater (almost snarling sounding - LOL) so I dread when I have to nurse him in public... :)  I only wish he loved to sleep as much as he loves to eat!!  He doesn't sleep for very long stretches during the day (maybe an hour here and there) and at night he typically sleeps in 2 hour blocks (VERY sad for mom).. BUT he has gone a couple nights where he has slept 5 and 4 hour blocks which was just so very awesome for me!!!  He LOVES LOVES LOVES having his hair washed and enjoys the rest of his bath too.. however, he doesn't like having his hair combed and HATES the booger sucker!!! It's amazing how much he grows every single day... he is getting very strong and continues to entertain us with his animation and "wildness" aka inability to stay still (he is always throwing punches or kicking his legs when he is awake).  Some nicknames he has picked up:  Luv Luv (compliments of Mommy), Thrasher (he got this one from the way he eats sometimes), Piglet (from the cute newborn snort), and the rest are prob too embarrassing to list so I will stop there. :) 

1 MONTH OLD!

PICTURES :)

Long overdue but here are a few pictures of our Lucas. :)

Hospital Pics

 (Lucas and Gramma)

 (leaving hospital)

 (we're home!!)

 (showing Lucas his room for the first time)

 (trying out his crib with Laker Bear)

(Lucas and Aunt Sienna)

 (arriving at hospital to have our baby!)

 (fresh out of mommy!)

First few weeks at home

 (Lucas and Granny)

 (1 week old!!) 

(Lucas and Baby Keira)

 (LOL - after my first bath!)



MY BIRTH STORY

Hi Everyone!!!!  Sorry it took me SO long to update!  Our precious Lucas Jae was born on 1/26/2011 at 10:17am. He weighed in at 7 lb 7 oz and measured 21 inches long.  I have a LOT I want to share including lots of pics of our sweet son but will start with the birth. 

I went in for my 40 week appointment on Tuesday 1/25/2011 (a day after my due date) and had an ultrasound done to check the size of Lucas and to see how much fluid was around him (as you go past your due date you run the risk of the fluid getting too low which can be very dangerous for the baby and in extreme cases can cause still birth).  The ultrasound estimated his weight to be 8 lb 4 oz but doc said this is give or take a pound. The ultrasound also showed that the fluid around him was in fact low :( which really scared me... doc asked if I was still feeling him move which I was - all the time. He has always been extremely active and that never changed.  He still wanted to hook me up to a monitor to track Lucas' movements for about a half hour.  As I suspected the monitor showed that I had a wild monkey inside me which was reassuring to both me and doc.  However, he didn't see any point in keeping Lucas in any longer since the more time he spent in my belly the more detrimental it would be for him.  When he said this I just wanted to get him out ASAP so my baby could be safe in my arms.  I had REALLY not wanted to be induced but more importantly I wanted my baby healthy so I was definitely not opposing the doc's recommendation to move forward with it. The hospital didn't have any beds available at the time but were going to call me as soon as one was free - so I called Doug at work and shared the news and told him he should probably come home since we were going to have our baby :).. I was so scared and nervous and spent some time crying just because this wasn't how I envisioned it all happening - but I tried to keep my eye on the prize and that was that our son would soon be here in our arms. By the time I got home and had a quick snack the hospital called and said they were ready for me.. so I quickly double checked my hospital bag and we were off..

Once we got settled at the hospital they decided to give me a cervix ripener instead of starting me on the Pitocin in hopes that it would a) put me in labor on its own or b) make the process once they gave me the Pitocin much quicker and easier... well they gave it to me at around 2pm I believe (it was supposed to stay in for 12 hours) and by 9pm my water broke on its own (which I will say is the WIERDEST thing in the WORLD).. the instant my water broke I went into labor and started having horrifically painful contractions every few minutes.  At this point my mind was not made up on whether I would get an epidural or not as I wanted to see how things went.. well after a couple hours of laboring with no drugs I was beginning to contemplate hurling myself out the window and in front of a semi.. so this is when I requested to bring on the drugs!!!  Now I knew it wasn't certain whether an epidural would work for me because of my back (as most of you know my spine is fused from my scoliosis surgery) but the anesthesiologist was willing to give it a shot. All I could do was pray as I didn't think I would survive the process without it.. Doug was praying too!!!  When they were giving me the epi we almost lost Doug! LOL!  He had been doing SOO great but once he saw everything (he was holding me while they did it) he lost all coloring and was told to drink some juice and sit down. :)  I don't blame him though.. I'm sure it looked brutal and plus they had to go in a few different places with the needle to get it in a spot that would work, which ended up being much lower than where they usually go in due to the location of the rods in my back.. Once they finally got the epidural in I just waited and prayed for it to start working.. I would say within 10 minutes my legs were numb but unfortunately my abdomen was not.. after several hours of increasing the dosage again and again it FINALLY numbed my abdomen and contractions. The drugs had a really hard time traveling up to numb the appropriate place due to how low they had to go in and also the slight curvature that was still in my spine.. so once they finally got it working I had so much drugs in me that I felt like a paraplegic!  The nurse would come in to check on me and just laugh because I'd have one leg dangling off the bed and had no idea!  Definitely a bizarre feeling but it was better than those devilish contractions!!! So I continued to labor through the night and was able to doze off a bit thanks to the wonderful, life saving epidural.. but once I got closer to delivery they decided to take my epidural dose down to 50% so that I could slightly feel my contractions to push.. well by the time I was ready to push I could feel my contractions 100% and was still numb as ever in my legs.. not ideal but could have been worse! I ended up pushing for close to an hour and half and it was definitely brutal.. more so because with every push I would get nauseous and sick.. but Doug was by my side the entire time and was an amazing coach - he definitely gave me the strength and motivation that I so needed. Right before Lucas was born my mom came running in :) - she ran in saying "sorry, sorry, I just couldn't wait out there anymore and not know what is going on in here!" LOL.. I just told her that it was okay and to "STAND BY MY HEAD!" LOL.. she did and so both her and Doug got to witness our precious baby being born.  It was truly one of the most amazing and special moments I have ever experienced in my life.. there are no words.  When they placed Lucas Jae on my chest I was so in love with him I could barely comprehend it.. and his daddy's eyes were filled with so much love and amazement it was overwhelming. :)

39 WEEKS

and still pregnant...... :(  I had a rough day today at my doctor appointment.  The exam was so painful today that I almost cried... he reported that I am 2 cm dilated and 80-90% effaced and then we talked about what the next step would be if I'm STILL pregnant next week.. he decided that if I make it to my next appointment (next Tuesday, January 25th) he will do an ultrasound to check two things: baby's size to make sure he is not a giant and the fluid around Lucas to make sure it isn't too low.  If Lucas is a giant (very possible) OR if the fluid around him is low (very dangerous for baby) then he will likely induce labor right away. If all is normal and Lucas is a regular size and he has enough fluid around him then the doc will let me go another week or so before inducing labor.  I REALLY do not want to be induced so I'm hoping and praying with everything in me that he just comes this week. So back to the rough part... when I got to work and went to the bathroom I was bleeding a LOT.. this obviously worried me so I called the doctor and he recommended I go to the hospital to be checked.  My gut told me that everything was fine and originally I wasn't going to go because I knew it had to be from the super brutal exam today but then after a little while and talking to Doug and Jenn I decided to go to be checked out since it's better to just be safe in this case... so I spent about an hour at the hospital being monitored and had another super fun exam.  Good news is that all is well and they sent me home as I knew they would..  :)

So some exciting news is that Doug's mom came in from Virginia this past Saturday and will be staying with us until little Lucas shows up (which is hopefully SOON!!!!).  She is in town until February 3rd so he must must must come before then! In the meantime, she is just hanging out with us which is so great since we don't get to see her much.  Only bummer is that both Doug and I are still working (since I don't want to start my maternity leave until Lucas comes) so we aren't able to spend the days with her... just another reason why this boy needs to get his booty out! 

Hopefully I will have some exciting news soon!!!  I plan to post as soon as I go into labor and of course as soon as he arrives!! :)

38 WEEKS

2cm and still 75% effaced.. that was the news at today's appointment. I wasn't thrilled about my lack of progress but it doesn't mean anything anyway, right??  Doc still says baby can come at any time.. I just have a feeling he is going to make his mom wait.....  it is intentional that there is no space for a 40 week belly pic above! If the 24th rolls around and he's not here I will be the first to give my little boy a spankin! As much as I want him to come NOW I do also really want Doug's mom to get here first (she comes in from Virginia this Saturday and will be here for 3 weeks - yaay!).. AND I also want my mom to enjoy her special weekend she has planned this weekend (she and my sister will be driving out from California once I go into labor).. so Lucas.. if you're listening... mom would really like you to come on Monday the 17th... please and thank you. :)  I wish it was that easy! LOL.. yesterday I was kidding around and was pushing on my belly button telling Doug that I wished it was an eject button... mother nature isn't that kind.  He is the only one that knows when he will come out and he apparently is going to wait until he's good and ready.